


with my feelings on fire (guess i am a bad liar)

by jaeson



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-09 00:30:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11657868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeson/pseuds/jaeson
Summary: All of his 17 years of life Ong Seongwoo had been his best friends, together since they were toddlers, always the one next to the other,  and for almost half of  it (since he had discovered kissing and sexuality were actually a thing) he had thought that Seongwoo was only that: A friend. His best friend.But it turns out his life has been a complete lie and he is absolutely fucking smitten with Ong Seongwoo.





	with my feelings on fire (guess i am a bad liar)

**1.**

“Kang Daniel!” Seongwoo yells as soon as he spots the younger boy on his way to school. “I missed you so much!”

“I wonder if anyone in this world knows that you’re the older one between us two,” Daniel snorts without greeting back.

Seongwoo doesn’t respond. Instead he wraps his right arm around Daniel’s shoulders and happily walks beside him while telling him all about his tremendously adventurous weekend as they walk to school together.

***

When they arrive at their high school they separate to each head to their own classroom but not without Seongwoo sighing, blowing a farewell kiss towards him and Daniel acting as if he would catch it before actually throwing the kiss out of the hallway’s window.

***

At lunch Daniel has to pick Seongwoo up from his class since it’s Wednesday, which means it’s his turn to walk to the other side of school.

They had come up with their own “pick-up” schedule after three days of Daniel’s first year of high school because, although they always had lunch at the same time, they kept missing each other and thus didn’t spend any time together.

He peeks his head into Seongwoo’s classroom and looks for said boy. It takes him 0.1 seconds to actually find him and 0.2 to notice that something is weird.

Normally, the older boy would be sitting on his table, a few of his friends surrounding him as they listen to his stories of fun magazine shootings and the occasional CF filming.

This, obviously, isn’t the case today though.

Seongwoo is sitting, on his chair, alone, frowning at a pink piece of paper that has, what seems, a hundred hearts drawn on it.

Something in Daniel’s stomach twists.

“Seongwoo, are you ready?” Daniel asks with a smile, ignoring the turmoil in his body.

Seongwoo seems to snap out of it immediately.

A grin appears on his face and he proceeds to fish out his wallet from his backpack ere he skips towards Daniel – pink paper – letter? – still in his hand.

“What’s that?” he questions, pointing at the, kind of offending, object.

It seems as if the older boy had forgotten about it because Seongwoo has to follow the direction of Daniel’s finger to know what the younger boy is talking about. As soon as he actually notices, a blush spreads across his face. It even seems to reach his ears.

The sight of a nervous Seongwoo has always managed to make his heart flutter and a smile automatically appear on his face – his mother had said it’s because it makes him want to protect Seongwoo, he isn’t too sure about that though.

“Uhm… I’ll tell you at lunch,” Seongwoo mumbles, scratching the back of his head shyly.

Then the older boy tries to distract him and change the topic multiple times. Daniel, however, can’t help but be curious about that paper – letter – whatever.

***

“It’s a love letter,” Seongwoo blurts out when they sit down in the cafeteria.

“Come again,” Daniel manages to answer, almost choking on his food. “A love letter? For you?”

“No, it’s actually for my mom,” the older boy deadpans, eyebrows raised, seems like Daniel has offended him, ups.

Of course Daniel had known that Seongwoo is popular – how could he not be with his handsome face, perfect proportions and fun personality, but he hadn’t realized that some people would want him… _like that_... _like more than a friend or handsome senior._

Daniel’s heart clenches in a very weird way.

“So… who is it from?” he questions, hoping that his discomfort isn’t way too obvious. “What did they say?”

“They said mostly cute stuff like how they really love my hair after I fall asleep in class or how they love to listen to my funny stories. It was kind of adorable,” Seongwoo tells him, as he keeps on going his features soften with fondness. “But I have literally no idea who it’s from. They didn’t write down their name or class which is weird… Why send me a letter and not tell me who you are so we can get to know each other? I’d at least just like to talk to them once.”

Daniel nods understandingly. Deep down he hopes Seongwoo won’t like or fall in love with the person who sent the letter since it would completely change their whole dynamic and he’s not too sure he will be able to handle Seongwoo not being with him 24/7.

**2.**

Almost three weeks pass before something _weird_ happens again.

It’s Monday, which means it’s Seongwoo’s turn to pick Daniel up for lunch but even ten minutes after the start of their break, Seongwoo isn’t there, which is very… unusual to say the least. So, after another five minutes of waiting, Daniel takes matters into his own hand and goes to search for the older boy himself.

When he arrives at the other’s classroom, Seongwoo isn’t there either.

“Hey, have you seen Seongwoo?” he asks Minhyun, one of the older’s classmates; the other looks at him with a confused look for a minute before he responds.

“Yeah, he was on the way to your lunch date before he was dragged away by one of the sophomores,” Minhyun says with a laugh. “You should have seen Ong’s face, he was so taken aback.”

Daniel can’t bring himself to laugh along.

“Do you know where they went?” he inquires, already thinking about the ten thousand possible places they could be.

“I’m not too sure, since they didn’t mention any specific place, but by the looks of it, I’m assuming they went to the gym,” Minhyun replies, eyebrows wiggling.

The gym – fuck, that’s the most sought after place in their school and almost a five minute walk away.

It’s well known for its dim light, romantic atmosphere and for being the perfect place to confess. Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he nods, thanks the older boy and sprints down the stairs towards the gym.

***

As soon as he gets there, he recognizes the junior that Minhyun was talking about, the one that had apparently dragged Seongwoo here.

It’s Bae Jinyoung, best known for his good looks and beautiful skin.

The two of them are standing in the middle of the gym, staring at each other. Seongwoo seems to be worried since he has a frown on his face and all.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Seongwoo asks, worriedly looking at the other boy.

Daniel knows he shouldn’t eavesdrop, he should make his presence known before anything overly private is revealed but… he doesn’t think he can. So, despite what all of his body is telling him to do, he hides behind the open door, both boys in his sight and listens.

“Yes, I just…” in that moment he notices that Jinyoung’s hand is still wrapped around Seongwoo’s wrist, he feels something like jealousy slowly creep into his blood. “I wanted to thank you for all the tips you gave me the other day about being honest and confident about who I am and what I feel.”

“No problem,” Seongwoo grins, happily patting the younger’s head with his free hand. 

“And… I am going to be honest with you too,” Jinyoung announces, nervously glancing at the older boy.

All Daniel wants is for Seongwoo to be ten metres apart from Jinyoung and his hand to be patting Daniel’s head instead. He wants Seongwoo by his side as they eat lunch and the older does those stupid walrus teeth with his chopsticks for the thousandth time.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Seongwoo encourages Jinyoung with a nod and a smile.

“I like you,” Jinyoung suddenly admits, Seongwoo’s smile falters for a moment but the older recomposes himself and smiles understandingly again. “I like that you’re nice to me, that you never judge me and that you’re funny. You being handsome is only a bonus. I also like –“

Daniel heads back to his classroom.

He can’t bear to listen anymore. His heartbeat is quickening and his blood is boiling, but the most fucked up thing is, he doesn’t even know why. He should be happy that Seongwoo has love interests, Daniel should congratulate the other and encourage him but he isn’t and he can’t.

Sometimes, he hates himself.

***

When Seongwoo comes to his class during the next break, he apologizes to Daniel with his most cringe-worthy cutesy act and one of his brightest smiles as he back-hugs Daniel.

The older boy, however, doesn’t mention why he couldn’t make it to lunch.

**3.**

“Ah… Daniel…,” Seongwoo whines as they head home after school some days later. “I’m really freaking hungry!”

He is looking at Daniel with an adorable pout and is also clinging to his right arm, softly shaking it along to the rhythm of his complaining. There’s no way Daniel can say no anyway so he just sighs and nods, gesturing for them to eat ramen.

“Yes, let’s go to the convenience store– ,“ the older boy starts but is interrupted by one of their schoolmates literally running into him.

Daniel, almost reflexively, wraps his arm around Seongwoo’s lower back, presses Seongwoo into his own body and steadies him in the process. The other clings to him for his dear life, face burying into the crook of Daniel’s neck.

“I’m so s-sorry!” the boy mumbles, his outstretched hand holding something. “This is for you, Ong Seongwoo!”

Seongwoo, apparently is still taken aback by all that’s happening, because he is staring at the boy, still with his face hidden behind Daniel’s head, with a dumbfounded look. Daniel doesn’t have any other option but to take the – wait – pink envelope himself.

Almost as soon as he isn’t holding the letter anymore, the other boy sprints out of their sight, blush all over his face.

“Do you know him?” Daniel asks, examining the… the thing in between of his fingers.

Daniel’s words seem to snap Seongwoo out of whatever trance he was in as he looks up at the younger.

Seongwoo, however, doesn’t let go of Daniel’s arm after coming back to his normal self. He even stops Daniel from removing his other arm from Seongwoo’s lower back. Instead he lets Daniel’s whole body engulf him in warmness as he seems to think about an answer.

Daniel’s heart beats faster at the contact.

“I’ve seen him around a few times,” he finally replies after a few seconds. “His name is Sungwoon and he’s one year older, I think. I don’t know more than that.”

The younger boy nods understandingly, still distracted by the pink envelope.

“What did he want to give me anyway?”

Seongwoo turns around a bit then, his face mere inches away from his. Daniel’s heart stutters in his chest before it then kick-starts again and starts beating unbelievably fast.

“Um,” he mutters, taking a step away from Seongwoo. “Some kind of letter, I guess. I’m not too sure, hah.”

“Can I see?” the other questions.

Almost automatically, Daniel’s hand reaches out to Seongwoo, easily handing him the envelope. Seongwoo quietly murmurs a “thank you”, his right hand unfolding the pink paper while his left hand takes a hold of Daniel’s own hand. Seongwoo’s thumb gently strokes over Daniel’s knuckles.

“Ah! So he is the one sending me love letters….” Seongwoo announces after skimming over the paper. “Cute.”

For an unknown reason, anxiety builds up in Daniel’s stomach. For a moment, he seems to have forgotten how to breathe. What if Seongwoo accepts Sungwoon’s confession? What if Daniel doesn’t get to see him as much? What if Seongwoo isn’t as close to him anymore? Or worse, what if Daniel now has to see Seongwoo touching, holding hands or hugging someone else – someone that is not Daniel himself?

In that instant, it clicks in his head.

Fuck.

“I’m going home,” Daniel blurts out.

He turns around and walks away, ignoring Seongwoo’s confused and worried calls for him.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He is in fucking love with Seongwoo.

**+1**

All of his 17 years of life Ong Seongwoo had been his best friends, together since they were toddlers, always the one next to the other, and for almost half of  it (since he had discovered kissing and sexuality were actually a thing) he had thought that Seongwoo was only that: A friend. His best friend.

But it turns out his life has been a complete lie and he is absolutely fucking smitten with Ong Seongwoo.

***

Daniel is an extrovert, has been all of his life, but today – the next day after his world-turning realisation that he is in love with Ong Seongwoo – he doesn’t seek the comfort of other people or goes to hang out with his friends to take his mind off his troubles.

No, today Daniel skips school and stays buried underneath the warmth of his blankets.

His mother and father leave him some tea on his bedside table and soup in the fridge, believing his excuse of being sick, and leave for work with matching uplifting smiles.

He just silently screams into his pillow before he goes back to sleep.

***

It’s 12 a.m. when Daniel’s phone vibrates. He knows it’s probably Seongwoo asking him why he isn’t at school and if he is okay.

He sinks deeper into his bed and ignores his phone.

***

After hours of pondering, Daniel comes to the conclusion that there is no fucking way Seongwoo likes him back, at least not _like that_.

Because even though the older boy had proposed to him at the tender age of 4, loves to cuddle with Daniel and seems to be able to talk to him about everything, he has never once in his life said anything about liking him – or any other person that is.

Every time anyone would ask Seongwoo who he likes, the older would reply with “no one”.

Even in middle school, every time they would play truth or dare with their classmates Seongwoo would always say that he’s not interested in liking anyone – once in his last year of middle school he had, although flustered, denied that he liked Daniel _in that way_.

This piece of self-taught information makes him feel even worse because a) he is in love with his best friend and b) it’s one-sided.

Fucking great.

He peeks his head from down of his covers to look out of his window. It’s raining, big water droplets splashing loudly against it. He can also hear some thunders in the near vicinity.

Even the weather seems to know how he is feeling.

***

 **From:** Ong [12:12]

Where are you? Are you okay? I’m worried.

 **From:** Ong [13:39]

Asked some people in your class and they told me you called in sick today. Get well soon, my Kang Daniel!

 **From:** Ong [16:01]

I missed you today. Are you coming tomorrow?

 **From:** Ong [16:05]

If you don’t answer, I am going to ignore the fact that I didn’t bring an umbrella today and run over to your house to see you.

***

Daniel reads the messages over and over again. His heart clenches tightly in his chest. Seongwoo really does seem worried, like always.

He is about to reply when he gets another text.

 **From:** Kim Jaehwan

Hey Daniel, so a kid confessed to Seongwoo today and got reject. This friend of mine is planning to confess tomorrow and he begged me to ask you for some tips since you know Seongwoo the most. I wouldn’t bother you if he wasn’t really desperate (and annoying). Sorry!

After reading his classmates message, he locks his phone and throws it somewhere on his bed.

Jesus, why did Seongwoo have to be so fucking popular?

 

***

Daniel is wrapped in a blanket burrito, watching some stupid variety show on his laptop when his doorbell rings.

He sighs, really not in the mood to talk to any of his neighbours or friendly delivery men, heads to the entrance hall and opens the door without a second thought.

What he sees is beyond his imagination.

Seongwoo is standing in front of his door and – fuck, Daniel had forgotten to answer his texts.

The older boy is dripping wet, his school uniform clinging to him in a number of different places, showing off Seongwoo’s lean body. His hair is plastered against his forehead and Seongwoo himself is breathing heavily and – and he manages to still look fucking perfect as he scans Daniel up and down with worried eyes.

“Shit, come in, you’re going to get sick,” Daniel blurts out.

He lets go of his blankets, letting them drop onto the floor. Then, after having closed the front door, he takes a hold of Seongwoo’s wrist and drags the older boy to the bathroom.

Seongwoo doesn’t say a single word.

Daniel throws a towel on top of the older’s head and starts to dry his hair, frantically looking him up and down, trying to figure out what the best way would be to get Seongwoo dry as soon as possible.

All of a sudden, Seongwoo puts his hands on top of Daniel’s, stopping all of their movements. Daniel notices then how close they are to each other. He can’t help but lick his lips out of nervousness.

“You’re not sick,” Seongwoo says, somewhat in an accusing tone.

Daniel slips his hands out of Seongwoo’s as he laughs uneasily, thinking of any excuse that will make it possible to get out of this uncomfortable situation.

“Well, you’re going to be sick if you don’t dry yourself and change your clothes,” he replies, gesturing at all of Seongwoo’s wet uniform. “I’m going to get you something to wear that’s not completely drenched.”

He moves to walk away but Seongwoo catches his wrist, successfully stopping him from going.

“I know you like the back of my hand, Kang Daniel, so quit playing games and tell me what the fuck is up with you,” Seongwoo  says; Daniel has never heard the older’s voice be so low, so angry.

Seongwoo’s voice feels almost dangerous to him, like if Seongwoo uses it again it will make him spill everything that he’s feeling. It makes his heartbeat speed up and his fight-or-flight instinct kick in. He turns around to carefully survey Seongwoo’s face. Nervously, he swipes his tongue over his lips again.

Seongwoo is looking at him sternly but Daniel can see all the fondness and worry behind the staring.

 _“I’m in love with you”_ he wants to say. He wants to yell those words just so they are out of his system, just so he can get rejected and move on but he can’t. Daniel can’t because the thought of losing his best friend doesn’t let him.

“It’s nothing,” he replies, plastering his trademark bunny teeth smile on his face; Daniel is fully aware that Seongwoo is not buying it. “Like I said, I’m going to get you some dry clothes.”

The other lets go of him, deflating, and nods.

Daniel goes into his room, happy to not be in trapped in such a small place like his bathroom with Seongwoo anymore. He looks through all of his clothes until he finds his smallest sweatshirt and some old skinny jeans he doesn’t use anymore and brings them to Seongwoo, who is already peeling off the wet uniform from his skin, exposing all of his naked back.

He has seen Seongwoo’s back dozens of times already but today is the first time he notices how beautiful it looks with countless moles loitering it and Seongwoo’s marvellously defined muscles.

The younger boy snaps out of it thanks to the clothes falling onto the floor. He places them on top of the sink and leaves to sit down on the couch, on his way there he picks up the blankets he left in the entrance before.

It only takes a few minutes for Seongwoo to come out of the bathroom. When Daniel sees him, he gets a warm fuzzy feeling.

Seongwoo walks towards the couch, sitting down next to him, and blankly stares at Daniel’s turned off TV. For a while, none of them say anything. They just sit there, basking in each other’s company.

“I’m not stupid, Daniel,” Seongwoo breaks the silence. “I know something’s up so tell me what’s wrong. Please.”

Once again he wonders if he should just tell Seongwoo, tell him how he feels about him.

“Jaehwan told me one of his friends wants to confess to you tomorrow and that he needs some tips from me, anything I should tell him?” Daniel asks, abruptly changing the topic as his eyes look at anything but the other boy.

Seongwoo just sighs.

“Tell him not to confess to me since I am going to reject them anyway,” he replies after a few seconds.

“Huh?” Daniel exclaims flabbergasted, turning his head to look at Seongwoo’s profile. “Why?”

Seongwoo turns around to look directly into Daniel’s eyes. He has the most serious facial expression Daniel has ever seen him with.

“Because I’m in love with you,” Seongwoo answers sincerely.

Daniel chokes on his own spit.

“I’m sorry, what?” he manages to ask, confused beyond belief.

“I said I’m in love with you,” Seongwoo repeats, accentuating every single word as he watches Daniel intently, heart beating quickly. “I was pretty sure you knew but I didn’t want to mention in it since you don’t seem to like me back. I had to tell you some day anyway, seems that day is here.”

Seongwoo looks down at his lap where his fingers are nervously tapping against his legs.

“You’re fucking with me right?” Daniel blurts out, his brain not able to handle so much important information. “Right?”

“I wish,” Seongwoo chuckles darkly, looking back at Daniel with a small, sad smile. “I have been for quite a while, actually. I know you don’t like me back but try to at least not sound like this is the worst fucking thing that has happened in your life.”

Daniel is so fucking speechless right now. Fuck, shit. Seongwoo actually _likes him back_ , fuck. This is the most surreal thing that has happened to Daniel in ages.

“Are you going to say anything or do you want me to leave or something?” Seongwoo inquires seriously.

Since Daniel doesn’t say anything, Seongwoo sighs and stands up to leave, head hanging low. That’s the moment, thank God, that Daniel’s brain seems to realize what is happening. His hand reaches out and takes a hold of Seongwoo’s, yanking the older boy so he is sitting down on the couch again. 

“Jesus, Seongwoo, fuck, I – I have been having a mental breakdown since yesterday because I fucking realized how fucking whipped I am for you, s-shit,” he says, stuttering sometimes because he can’t decide on what to say. “I thought I didn’t stand a chance with so many people confessing their undying love for you, fuck, like I’m literally so in love with you it hurts.”

Now it’s Seongwoo’s turn to look all gobsmacked.

They stare into each other’s eyes for a while, each trying to find something in the other’s eyes that indicates that this is some kind of unbelievably fucked up dream.

Then, Seongwoo suddenly throws himself onto Daniel. His arms easily wrap themselves around the younger’s neck as he hugs the living hell out of him, not being able to handle all the different feelings bubbling excitedly in his stomach.

Daniel can’t help but laugh as he hides his blushing face in the crook of Seongwoo’s neck.

“Fuck, I’m so happy,” Seongwoo whispers directly into Daniel’s ear, making a shiver run down his spine. “Why would you even like me back? This is insane!”

“I know right?” Daniel laughs, happily squeezing Seongwoo.

The older boy lets go of him so that he can look at Daniel’s blushing face. Daniel also looks at Seongwoo’s face, smiling happily at him.

Seongwoo carefully leans in and presses a soft peck on Daniel’s lips. The younger smirks before he wraps his hand around the other’s lower back, tugging Seongwoo forward so that the older is sitting on his lap, his legs trapping in Daniel’s.

This time he is the one who leans in, kissing Seongwoo on the lips carefully and cupping the other’s cheeks as he then deepens the kiss. Seongwoo kisses back enthusiastically, sensually biting Daniel’s lower lip before pecking him again.

“I love you so fucking much,” Daniel sighs happily.

Seongwoo just laughs and kisses him again. Daniel really couldn’t have asked for more.

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey! like i promised last week, today we've got an ongniel overload!
> 
> i'd really appreciate it if you guys would send me more requests since I have been literally loving every single one of them at my blog (ongsniel.tumblr.com)!
> 
> thank you so much to everyone who has requested and liked my fics! i hope you also like this one and i'd really appreciate you leaving me some feedback in the comments!


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